Silent Tears
by Razeil100
Summary: A one shot about shinji trying to conquers his problems one at a time. Slight AxS. MY FIRST FIC. Try to enjoy...
1. A Night Alone

Silent Tears

Author's notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction so be gentle in the reviews. If it's completely terrible then you shouldn't be that mad, it's my first story right? Don't have high hopes.

A dark haired boy thrashes about in his sleep. Cool beads of sweat roll down his forehead in a similar fashion to the raindrops cascading down the side of a clear glass window at his bedside. As the pitter patter of rain peppers the window pane a car skids off in the distance, the screeching of tires lay in the air for a minute before the boy becomes aware of his slightly awakened state. He slides out of his futon and pads to his door. After a moment to stabilize his half awakened legs he moves towards the front door, but only after stopping in front of another bedroom entrance.

The sounds of silent whimpering can be heard through the thin door in the hallway. The boy turns to the front door with a look of self loathing engraved on his face. 'Look at me…..running away from somebody else's problems now…..I'm pathetic.' As the boy's shoes slip on he exits the house in a quiet trance, caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts and nightmares. The troubling thoughts have been plaguing him for sometime now and he decides he needs to tackle his monsters or be eaten alive. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small coin flickering every so often in response to a street lamp being passed by on the sidewalk. The boy reaches out and grabs hold of a nearby payphone's receiver.

A pang of disgust and a wave of nausea hit him like a tidal wave, partially because of what he is about to do and partially because no matter how hard he asks himself he can't find a reason to force himself through this ritual every night. Slowly he pushes the coin into it's slot as if it were being pushed through a solid wall. He taps a few numbers and hesitates as his index finger approaches the last one. Will he actually go through with it tonight or will he drag his feet home and cry himself to sleep, or will he finally confront his biggest fear? "Father…" The word rushes out of his mouth so monotonically that one could barely distinguish if he were a human being or a machine. In a sudden burst of courage he lashes out at last number with a primal ferocity.

As the phone rings in his ear time seems to slow to a standstill. The other line picks up; with luck the boy might get to speak to the one he desires comfort from most. The automated message starts to play and the boy lets the phone drop as his knees give out. Tears start to stream down his cheeks as his foolishness bluntly comes to him, 'Of course he wouldn't pick up the phone, who at this time of night would?!' As the boy's tears mixed with the rain he walked home silently sobbing to himself. He didn't bother dry his clothing or hair upon reentry of his residence.

The tears had stopped flowing now, on both sides of the bedroom door. 'I suppose we are a little bit alike.' The boy mused. He crawled back into his futon and drifted off to sleep with a twinge of sadness for not being able to reach his father and pride that he had been able to push himself towards conquering his fears. He hoped that their would be a day when he would connect with his father. With _her. _With himself. For now that day would have to wait, as the pilot of Evangelion unit 01, Shinji Ikari, had passed into the world of dreams.

Author's Notes: Well that was my story hope it was a pleasant waste of time. I enjoyed writing it. Please leave reviews! –Raz

P.S: I need a disclaimer right? Well here it is. I do not own the rights to Evangelion or any of its characters. Ganiax owns all that and my soul. )


	2. Late Night Worries

Silent Tears

Author's Notes: Do I need a disclaimer every chapter? If so, I do not own anything to do with Evangelion or Gainax.

A sunset. Orange and glowing like the end of a lit cigarette. It slowly drops below the curve of the horizon as a small girl is seen running with a big smile on her face. She reaches her destination, A hospital on the edge of town. She swings the door open and her joyous expression becomes one of misery, despair, and loss. A woman holding a monkey doll with the same color hair as the girl's, auburn, is seen swinging ever so slightly back and forth from a noose. The smile on the woman's face mimics that of the girl's prior opening the door, except her smile was filled with pride and joy, this grin was filled with malice. The girl's eyes bulge out as the realization of what she is seeing hits her. "Mama" a single word is uttered as tears stream from her eyes.

A ceiling. That was the first thing the girl saw as she abruptly awoke from a nightmare. A single tear rolls down her cheek as she tried to hold in her sorrow. The burden is too much to carry and she begins to silently weep to herself. Just then she hears foot steps and a shadow creeps under her door, 'Shinji?' she thinks to herself. The sound of a door's hinges creaking is heard through the girl's door.

She continues to sob. The girl found herself sitting up in her bed and desperately trying to make the images go away. Once again the door's hinges creak as a ray of light slips under her door. The soft padding of footsteps can be heard for a minute then all becomes quiet again. Curious she slowly slides out into the hallway and opens her housemate's door a crack. As the moonlight from an open window floods in she sees the boy's face illuminated. A discoloration is noticeable on his cheek.

'Dried tears…' the girl realizes. 'Why was he crying? What was he doing out this late in the first place?!' She notices that he has no blanket on as he shivers. With a sad smile she walks over and puts a blanket over his sleeping form. "Baka." She says to the young boy. As she walks back into her room, Asuka Langley Soryu feels at rest. She has not felt this way in a while.

Maybe things were looking up?


End file.
